Green Flags : Bun Bun

I wrote a post about what to look for that should be deal-breakers, aka red flags, in a dynamic. Now let's take a moment to talk about the green flags- the things that let you know that everyone involved is genuine and authentic.

It's just as important to notice the green flags in a potential dynamic. Not any one person is perfect! And we need to keep this in mind in the lifestyle as well. A dynamic is a deeper, more intense version of a vanilla relationship and I think a lot of the time, us submissives put the Dominants on a pedestal, expecting the world of them. And the same thing applies to Dominants putting submissives up there. We forget that we're often looking for a life partner, not someone to just share our bdsm interests in. So, if we essentially write a "pros and cons" list, red vs green flags, if the pros/healthy parts of your partner, should outweigh the cons/red flags.

Doms:

1. A Dominant should be patient in searching for the right submissive(s). Most things rushed, often fail.

2. They should be respectful to established dynamics, and to everyone else in the group/setting.

3. They use neutral titles to speak with submissives, instead of using pet names instantly. This is an extension of being respectful, they know not to claim anything without consent.

4. Isn't experiencing "Dominant frenzy" and hopping from submissive to submissive. This ties into having patience.

5. Respects the limits of the submissive(s), even before they've potentially entered into a prospective dynamic.

6. Are able to work through disagreements with good communication and understanding of the submissive(s).

7. They have a genuine interest in interests and hobbies of the submissive(s), because we all know the lifestyle isn't just about sex, right? (Of course, there are dynamics like this, but I'm referring to dynamics that have the intention of going deeper).

8. Are genuine to themselves. The face they present to the public eye, is the same one presented behind closed doors. (Taking into account trust issues and other things that could potentially hold them back from being vulnerable and open with someone).

Subs:

1. Submissives must always be patient. They know that the right one(s) will show up when they least expect it.

2. Respects established dynamics- no Dominant poaching or flirting unless consensual between all parties involved.

3. Don't start calling Dominants be Daddy, Master, or any other title immediately. Sir is usually a neutral title used, but be wary, fake Dominants can see this as a sign of submission.

4. Aren't experiencing "submissive frenzy" and hopping between Dominants frequently.

5. Are able to work through disagreements with good communication and understanding of the submissive(s).

6. They have a genuine interest in interests and hobbies of the Dominant(s).

7. Able to communicate and work through disagreements. Also able to communicate limits.

8. Are genuine to themselves. The face they present to the public eye, is the same one presented behind closed doors.